I Should Go
by lovelyladylily22
Summary: Buffy visits the crater where Sunnydale used to be on the anniversary of the battle. She says goodbye to Spike, as she heads to L.A. to find out what happened there. She doesn't notice a badly burnt man following her, suffering from amnesia but drawn to the beautiful blonde. Set after NFA, Spuffy. Based on an idea I thought of while reading a different fan-fiction.
1. Chapter 1

A year, almost to the day of the battle of the Hellmouth, Buffy Summers disappeared. The only two people who knew where she had gone were Willow and Dawn. She didn't want the others, particularly Xander, to talk her out of it.  
So it was that she found herself alone by the crater of what had been Sunnydale. She didn't know why, but she felt she needed to come. To make peace. Maybe then the dreams would stop. She doubted it though. After all, the dreams weren't about Sunnydale, they were always about him. About Spike.  
She stood there for a long time, thinking about him. She knew in their twisted relationship, she had done a lot of things wrong. But it had all been because she had loved him. In truth, the feelings had been there for awhile, but she had tried to brush them off, to push them away.  
Now, after spending a year alone, after he died to save her, to save the world, she would have given just about anything to be able to tell him how she truly felt about him.  
Her phone ringing broke the silence. She looked down and saw Willow's name on the caller ID. Since Willow knew where she was, Buffy knew it must be something urgent.  
"Hey, Will. What's up?" As soon as Willow spoke, the tone told Buffy something was very wrong.  
"Hey, Buff. I know you're...uh...on vacation, but I need to ask a favor. Something big went down in L.A. a week ago, and we haven't been able to contact our sources since. I was hoping you'd go check it out." Buffy agreed, and hung up. With a sigh, she cast one last look at the crater and whispered before leaving.  
"Goodbye, Spike." As she walked away from the crater into the fading sunlight, she didn't notice the figure leaning against a tree, badly burnt and wounded.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy's cab pulled up in front of the Hyperion. She paid the driver and got out, as Angel limped from the building towards her. When she reached him, Angel pulled her into a tight hug.  
"Willow called a bit ago to say you were coming and that you might be a bit upset." Buffy shrugged.  
"It was nothing. Will said something big went down?" Angel sighed as he led her into the Hyperion.  
"A few months back, I received information about a group working inside of Wolfram and Hart. This group, called The Circle of the Black Thorn. I knew they were somehow connected to another apocalypse, so I set out, in secrecy, to bring them down. At first, the others didn't even know what I had planned." He pointed to a chair and Buffy sat down. Angel slid down into another, pain on his face.  
"Where are you injured?" She stood up and moved to him, kneeling down beside him. He smiled at her, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.  
"I'm fine, Buffy. Nothing that won't heal. Now, where was I?" He reached up and absentmindedly brushed hair off her cheek. He sighed as she pulled away, only slightly, but noticeably. "So the Circle of the Black Thorn was planning something, so I infiltrated them. I joined up, and had such a good cover, Wes and the others actually thought I had turned evil again."  
"To be fair, Angel, I had my doubts when you started working at Wolfram and Hart." She sighed and stood up, moving away from him. She tried to ignore the pain on his face, but it hurt.  
She had realized, sometime after the events of Sunnydale, that they'd never be together. What they had was amazing. But she didn't love him in the same way any more. She knew that now, and refused to lead him on any longer. Her heart, though shattered, would belong to Spike. And being with Angel wouldn't help. Not in the slightest.  
"I know. Andrew told us when he came to pick up that Slayer who went crazy and..." He cut off mid-sentence, eyes wide as he realized what he had been about to say.  
"And what? How would that sentence have finished, Angel?" She looked at him curiously.  
"Forget it. There was just more to what happened when Dana was here than what Andrew knew at the time." He saw her glare, and knew she was about to interrupt. He held up his hand for her to let him finish. "But that wasn't my choice, Buffy. There were other...parties involved. People I'm not at liberty to discuss, not that it matters anymore." He sighed heavily. "There was a fight. Wes and the others, aside from Illyria were killed. Well, actually Gunn was turned, but I ended up having too..." He leaned forward covering his face with his hands.  
"Hey." She moved to him again, uncertain how best to comfort him without leading him on. She sighed and reached out to touch his cheek. "Look at me, Angel." He did, but deep sadness was clear in his eyes. "You cannot let this beat you. If you do, Wolfram and Hart might have well won. Look, I'm going to go find somewhere to stay, 'cuz to be honest, this place skeeves me out. But I'm going to stay nearby, all right?" He nodded, smiling slightly.  
"But you'll come back, right?" Buffy couldn't help but smile.  
"Yes, Angel. I'll come back tomorrow night. I want to hear more about what happened here. Half the city looks like a battleground." Angel nodded and stood to walk her to the door. He hugged her tightly, and started to lean in for a kiss, but before he could, Buffy pulled away, blushing. "I'll be back as soon as the sun sets. Get some sleep. You look...horrible." She turned and headed out of the Hyperion, hailing a cab. She got in and asked the driver to take her to the nearest hotel. Again, she didn't see the burnt figure, as he stumbled down the sidewalk, following her.


	3. Chapter 3

When the cab pulled up outside of the hotel, Buffy noticed something. At first, it looked like nothing more than a pile of rags. But as she got closer, she could make out a distinct humanoid shape. She moved closer still, feeing pulled towards the person, but not understanding why.  
"Hey. Hey you. Are you all right?" The person moaned, and she helped him roll over. She wished she hadn't. Every inch of his skin that she could see was marred by massive burns and gashes. She wasn't sure, but they appeared to be in the very early stages of healing. Her vampire sense alerted her, telling her exactly what he was. But he was clearly in no shape to help himself. And there was just something...try as she might, she couldn't figure it out.  
"Ugh. I can't believe I'm about to do this." She bent down and helped him up, carrying him inside the hotel. She got a room, and snuck the injured man into it. She got him to the bed, and made sure he was still out. Then, she took the chair, curling up in it, but keeping an eye on him all night. She kept a knife close, but for some unknown reason, she felt safer with a stake by her. She knew it was reckless letting a strange, badly injured man into her room, especially one who was a vampire, but he needed help, and she felt an odd connection to him.  
She watched him sleep, planning to stay awake all night. But at some point, she fell asleep. That night, she dreamt of Spike, as usual. But this time, it was lighter than normal, and she woke up feeling refreshed, and finding a set of blue eyes watching her.  
"Oh. Uh, hi. You're awake. I...Hi. I'm Buffy. Otherwise known as Buffy the vampire Slayer, in case you were thinking of trying anything fishy." The blue eyes blinked at her. "Uh, do you have a name? Something I can call you?" A very raspy voice replied, and the sound of it made her throat ache.  
"I...I don't know." She looked at him, head cocked and eyebrow raised, unconsciously copying Spike's favorite expression.  
"You don't know who you are?" The man attempted to shake his head, but it clearly caused him a great deal of pain. He looked panicked, and clearly in a great deal of intense pain. She didn't understand why, but she stood up and moved closer to him. "Hey, relax. I'm going to try to help you. Though, I don't honestly know why." He looked up at her, something like relief in his eyes.  
"Thanks." It was barely a whisper, but she smiled at him.  
"You're welcome. I'm going to run some errands. Get some sleep." She stood up and headed for the door, glancing back at him. She decided it was safest to put the 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the door.  
She hailed a cab and headed for some of the shops in the city. It gave her a chance to assess some of the damage, plus, shopping always helped Buffy clear her head. She made sure to stop by a butcher shop and get some blood. The sun was just going down when she took a cab back to the hotel.  
She found the burnt man sitting on the floor. Clearly, he had tried to get out of bed and fallen. She set her bags aside and helped him back to the bed. "Here, I brought back some blood. I'm guessing you haven't eaten recently, have you?" He shook his head. She sighed. "I thought as much. The burns around your mouth look painful enough that I figured you hadn't, and I'd prefer it if you stuck to pig's blood."  
"I...I don't want to bite anyone." He looked up at her, eyes wide. "I do, but there's something here," he pointed to his head, "that keeps telling me I shouldn't."  
She nodded. "I think you might have your soul." He looked at her confused, as she opened the container of blood. "See, when you were turned into a vampire, you lost your soul. But I'm guessing at some point, you got it back. I know of one vampire, Angel, who was cursed with a soul because of things he did. Another...Spike, he risked everything to get his soul...for me, so that he could be a better man." She closed her eyes, fighting tears back. She had to take a few deep breaths before opening them again, but when she did, she found his blue eyes looking back at her with something very similar to compassion.  
"So...you think I have a soul? How did I..." He sighed and started to take the container of blood, but it was clear his arm was too weak, so she held for him as he drank out of it. He pulled back, his face twisted in pain as he swallowed.  
"Is it the burns?" He nodded. "Okay, you'll have to take it slow. And unfortunately, I have somewhere I have to be. Get some more sleep. And this time, don't move. Oh. I almost forgot! I got some clothes that might be more...err...comfortable than those." She grabbed the bag and set it on the bed beside him. "When I come back, I'll help you change." She started for the door.  
"Slayer! Wait." Speaking caused a coughing fit, but when he stopped, the vampire spoke again. "I just wanted to say thanks, love. For, you know, helping me." She nodded, biting her lip to keep the emotions that flared at his use of the pet name 'love'. She turned away, heading back towards the door.  
"I'll be back soon." she whispered as she left the room. Something about the way he had spoke pulled at her heartstrings in a very unexpected way.  
She made her way to the Hyperion, her brain trying to sort out the mystery man. She found Angel waiting for her at the door. He reeked of alcohol. Clearly he had been binge drinking.  
"Sorry, something sort of came up." Angel nodded in understanding. "So, where is Illyria?"  
Angel sighed as they walked in to the Hyperion. "She took off after the battle. I suspect she is trying to find Spike. She doesn't believe he died." Angel sighed. Buffy spun around and looked at him.  
"What? What are you talking about Angel?" Angel's eyes widened. Clearly, he hadn't meant to say that.  
"I...uh..." He moved away from her.  
"You will start spilling. Now. You clearly know more than you are telling. Speak Angel." She glared at him. Finally he sighed and turned to her.  
"There's a lot of it to tell. I'll start from the beginning. You might want to sit for this." She nodded and sat down in a chair.  
"Okay, start talking. I'm listening." She fought to control her temper, but managed to push it aside.  
"Eighteen days after you fought the First, a package was delivered to my office at Wolfram and Hart. When I opened it, I found the amulet I had given you, the one Spike wore. He...uh...came out of it." She blinked at him.  
"He what?" She wasn't sure if he was playing a cruel trick on her. She shook her head, but Angel continued.  
"He was incorporeal, and slipping back to Hell slowly. Fred, the girl whose body Illyria now resides in, was researching ways to keep him here and turn him corporeal, but something happened, and he became corporeal without her help." Buffy studied his face. She could tell he was telling the truth.  
"You said Illyria didn't believe he had died?" Her heart was hammering, and she could hear the edge in her own voice.  
"He fought beside me in the battle against the Senior Partners, but in all the chaos I sort of lost track of him. Last I knew, he was fighting the dragon. When we didn't find him after the battle, I assumed he had died. We searched for a little while, but by then, the sun had started coming up. Illyria helped me back here and took off to search on her own, and hasn't come back since."  
Buffy nodded, trying to digest everything he had said. She closed her eyes, against the tears. "Why didn't he tell me?" She said it barely above a whisper, but she knew he had heard her. Angel didn't answer her, but turned away from her.  
"So you really do care about him then? I thought..." He sighed and his shoulders drooped.  
"I...Angel, I'm sorry. In the last year, I've realized a lot about myself. And about how I feel. And I understand now. I understand that things between you and I were not meant to work out. Because I needed to see him. Angel, you'll always be in my heart, but...I'm sorry." She stood up. "I should go." She headed for the door, and he didn't even stop her.  
She had started to open the door before he turned around. "Spike had an apartment here in town. Maybe you should be the one to clean it out? You know, it might help." Buffy nodded and Angel told her where to go.  
She smiled and thanked him as she headed out. She debated about going straight to Spike's apartment, but decided to go check on the burnt vampire in her hotel room first.  
She found him awake, and watching the news. He had changed into the sweats, but the button down shirt she had found was sitting beside him.  
"You look better. Well, aside from the fact that those pants are way too big." She couldn't hide a small smirk. Her eyes assessed the damage the burns had left behind on his currently bare chest. Muscle definition was obvious there, but the burns marred the entire surface.  
He noticed her looking at him and quickly covered up. "Sorry, I know it looks bloody awful."  
She walked over to him. "Does it hurt to keep it covered up?" He nodded. "Then don't. I think I'm going to make a phone call. I know someone that might be able to help. But she's currently in England. So even if she agrees, it'll be a while before she can come. We'll have to figure out something to help you until then." She sighed. "And I have to go clean out the apartment of someone I..." She sighed again, heavier this time. "Well, it belonged to someone I was in love with. I shouldn't be there too long, and I might bring his clothes back with me. The two of you appear to be about the same size." The vampire nodded, watching her.  
"Are you sure you want to go alone? Surely, if you wait a day or two, I could go with you. That way you wouldn't have to do it alone." He could see the pain in her eyes, and even though he didn't understand why he was pulled to this strange, beautiful, strong woman, he wanted to do everything he could to ease her pain. When she smiled at him, it made him feel...well, it made him feel good.  
"You'd go with me?" She looked at him, eyes a bit watery. He nodded, smiling at her. "Well, then I guess we'll wait a few days." She looked at him, studying his face for anything familiar. Sometimes, the way he spoke, not his voice so much, which was still raspy and weak, but the words he used, reminded her so much of Spike.  
"I...uh...need to go make the phone call. I'll be back soon." She stood up and practically rushed towards the door, leaving the vampire feeling confused.  
Buffy quickly dialed Willow's number and waited for what felt like an eternity until Willow picked up. Buffy explained the gist of what Angel had told her, including everything about Spike. When she told Willow about the vampire she was helping, Willow had her doubts.  
"Are you sure this isn't about Spike? Buff, I'm not so sure having a vamp holed up in your hotel room isn't a good idea, particularly since we don't know who he is." Buffy sighed.  
"I know it doesn't make sense, Will. But I had to help him. You should see the burns he has. And I'm almost positive he has a soul. Please. Come and check him out." Willow agreed, and Buffy expected her to take a flight out. But when she turned around, Willow had teleported herself directly to L.A.  
Buffy looked up and jumped, but kept from making a squeal. She hugged her friend. "Thanks for coming Will. But you look exhausted." Buffy noticed that Willow wobbled slightly. "Let's get you a room. You can look at Mr. Vamp tomorrow." Willow nodded, too tired to argue.  
"Thanks, Buff. Maybe you should bunk with me until we're sure." Buffy shook her head.  
"I'm sure he's safe. Besides, what kind of Slayer am I if I can't take on one lone vampire?" Willow nodded. They booked her a room, and she headed off, saying good night around a huge yawn. Buffy laughed and headed back to her own room.  
The vampire was waiting for her, looking worried. "Everything okay, Pet?" Buffy nodded, again pushing aside the twinge she felt at his use of a pet name.  
"Yeah, my friend...she actually already got here. So we got her set up in a room, but she's too wiped out to do the soul spell thingy tonight." He nodded. "But I was thinking..."  
Quietly, the vampire said, "Uh oh." She glared at him. He smirked at her.  
"No, seriously. I was thinking we should figure out something to call you." He blinked at her. "I was thinking, how about Randy?" She fought to hide the smile at the memory it had stirred up, but she somehow felt it was fitting. She wasn't sure why though.  
He snorted, but shrugged his shoulders, regretting it instantly. Pain seared, and he gasped for unnecessary air. Buffy quickly moved to his side.  
"Just relax." She touched his hand gently, and he turned it over, squeezing hers gently. She smiled at him. "Have you tried any blood recently?" He shook his head, and she stood to go get the container from the mini-fridge. She carried it back to him, and helped him hold it so he could drink some. The pained expression on his face told her it still hurt him to swallow it.  
He managed to drink a bit, but she knew it wouldn't be enough to really help. She sighed as she put the container away. "We really need to find a better way to do this." She studied his face, worried.  
"I'll be fine, love. I just need to heal more. Then I can be out of your hair. I'll get back on my feet, and figure out what to do with myself." He sighed, closing his eyes.  
"No." She glared at him.  
"No? No, what exactly?" He opened one eye and looked at her curiously.  
"No, you aren't leaving. Not until I am sure you are strong enough to take care of yourself. And I want to be certain you do actually have a soul. And it'd help if we figured out if you had anything to do with the big battle that happened here." She studied his face, again trying to find any sign of something familiar there.  
"Why?" His voice sounded raspier than before, and she looked at him concerned.  
"Why what? Why am I helping you?" He nodded. "Because...I...don't know, actually. I just..." She sighed and stood up. "You know what? Just get some more sleep. Tomorrow, Willow will find out if you're all souly, and then we can figure out a way to get you some blood, okay?" The vampire she had named Randy nodded. She walked over to the chair, grabbing out pajamas. "I'm going to take a shower. You should be asleep by the time I'm done, okay?" He nodded and laid back down, switching the TV off.  
She showered, feeling her tension ease ever so slightly. After she had finished and dressed, she slipped back into the room quietly. 'Randy' was already asleep, so she curled up in the chair. She fell into a deep sleep quickly.


	4. Chapter 4

Sometime during the night, he became aware of a ringing. The vampire, who refused to think of himself as 'Randy', managed to muster enough strength to get out of bed and track it down. It turned out to be her phone, the one the Slayer had used before. He picked it up, accidentally answering it as he did. A high pitched, obviously angry voice came through it. He put it up to his ear.  
"Look, I don't know what you are up to, Buffy Anne Summers, but I really do NOT appreciate being left behind. AGAIN."  
"Calm down, Bit. The Slayer...er...Buffy, that is, is asleep. Give me a second to wake her." There was a sudden silence from the other end of the phone, and he became concerned. He woke Buffy and handed her the phone. "Sorry. I didn't mean to answer it, but some screechy voice on the other end is none too happy with you." He stumbled back to the bed, ad half collapsed onto it.  
Buffy saw what number it was, and quickly explained to Dawn why she hadn't come with Willow. Dawn was too shocked to tell her about the name 'Randy' had called her, so she let it go for the time being.  
After she had hung up, she looked up at him. "Sorry, that was my little sister. She's angry we left her behind and didn't tell her what was going on." 'Randy' nodded in understanding.  
"No worries, love. Go back to sleep. You looked peaceful." He smiled at her, and she smiled back, feeling better than she had in a year.


	5. Chapter 5

Dawn hung up, tears streaming. She didn't understand what had happened. No one except Spike had ever called her Bit. No one. And yet, the strange voice on Buffy's phone, raspy and horrible sounding, had done just that. Dawn had been so shocked by the things Buffy had told her she had found out, that she had completely forgotten to Buffy who it was that had answered her phone.  
Dawn decided she would go meet Buffy in L.A. After all, she was out of school, and really missed her sister. Or at least that's what she'd tell Buffy to keep her from blowing a gasket when Dawn showed up in L.A. So, she booked a flight and told Giles she was going to see friends in Rome.

The next morning, Buffy awoke well rested, and content. 'Randy' was still asleep, but she got up and looked at him, studying his burns. They appeared ever so slightly better. She smiled at the peaceful look on his face, and a memory surged forward.  
_ She had been kicked out of her own house...by Faith and the Potentials. Still, what hurt the most was the way Dawn had treated her. She found a house to hole up in, fully expecting that no one would bother coming after her. But then he had shown up. Spike had completely opened up to her, showing himself absolutely._  
_ "You listen to me. I've been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I've seen things you couldn't imagine, and done things I prefer you didn't. Don't exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood... which doesn't exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred-plus years, and there's only one thing I've ever been sure of. You... Hey, look at me. I'm not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it's not because I want you, or because I can't have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are. What you do. How you try. I've seen your kindness, and your strength. I've seen the best and the worst of you, and I understand, with perfect clarity, exactly what you are. You're a hell of a woman. You're the One, Buffy."_  
_ He had held her that night as they had fallen asleep. Nothing more. But it had been more important to her, especially after everything that came after. _  
Buffy shook her head, pushing the memory aside. She wasn't sure why looking at Randy's peaceful sleeping face had suddenly stirred it up. She jumped at a soft knock on the door. She opened it.  
Willow looked somewhat rested, though she could clearly use more sleep. "I've got the stuff to do the spell." Buffy nodded as Willow walked over to Randy on the bed.  
Buffy went to the side and sat down on the edge of the bed. Gently, she touched his shoulder. His eyes opened, and he looked at her with a panicked expression to begin with, but it disappeared quickly as he stared at her.  
"My friend, the one I told you about before?" He nodded. "She's here to do that spell we talked about." She looked up at Willow, who was studying Randy's face.  
"The spell I'm going to do is just to check for a soul. I'm not great at it, but I can manage it well enough. It shouldn't cause you any pain or discomfort, and when I'm through, if it goes well, I might be able to do a minor healing spell. So that you can at least drink the pig's blood." Randy nodded, and turned his attention back to Buffy.  
"While she's doing that, I'm going to go see about that friend's apartment I told you about. You can come with me tonight, but I want to check it out alone, first." Willow caught Buffy's eyes.  
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Buffy nodded.  
"I'll be fine. I need to do it, Will." She smiled at Randy and grabbed her purse. "I'll be back in a bit."  
"Please. Don't go." 'Randy' looked up at her, eyes pleading. She turned, and looked at him. In that moment, the expression on his face, and the way he sounded reminded her so much of Spike, that she knew she wouldn't leave. She nodded and put her purse down.  
"I suppose I can put it off until later." Willow looked at Buffy suspiciously, but didn't say anything as she started the spell. Buffy pulled a chair over and sat beside the bed, near enough that 'Randy' could reach her.  
Willow let out a gasp, and her jerked her eyes open. She stared at Randy intently. She opened her mouth as if to say something, shook her head, and closed it.  
"What's the matter, Will?" Buffy looked at her friend curiously. Randy looked almost panicked.  
"Do I not have a soul?" The edge of worry was clear in his tone, but something else was there too. He almost sounded frightened.  
"Nothing. He has a soul. I think I'm just more exhausted than I thought..." She shook her head again. "I think I'm going to grab some more sleep, but I can do the healing spell to help your throat first."  
Randy sat up with Buffy's help. "No, I can wait. You look exhausted, Red. Sleep first."  
Willow gasped and moved closer to Randy. Buffy shook her head. "I don't think he meant anything by it, Will." She stepped in between the two of them, misinterpreting Willow's reaction.  
"No. I know that. I...I'm going to go. I'll be back later." She turned and rushed to the door. As soon as she was out of the room, she called Dawn on her cell phone.  
When it went straight to voicemail, she left a message. Then, Willow made her way back to her room. She was trying to figure out why Buffy couldn't see it. She shook her head, as she realized it was a way for her to protect herself. Sighing, she collapsed onto her bed.

Buffy watched Randy carefully. She was starting to wonder if he might be more connected to the battle than she had suspected.  
"So, uh...want to try some more blood?" He shook his head, clearly causing himself pain. "Okay, that's probably not the best idea anyway. I think I might have to go out and get some more first aid stuff." She looked at him, as he looked somewhat panicked, so she shrugged. "Maybe it can wait till later, though."  
He smiled at her. "Thanks, Pet. But I'm okay for now." She nodded. "Can I ask you a question?"  
Buffy raised an eyebrow at him.

"Sure. Go for it. Ask me anything you want. I can't guarantee I'll answer if it makes me uncomfortable, but I won't lie." She felt she could trust him, and was more than willing to be truthful with him.  
"You said before that you knew two other vampires with souls. Who...and where are they?" He studied her face.  
"Well, the first one, Angel...he was the one that was cursed with his. He had killed a Gypsy and her family cursed him." She sighed, heavily, thinking of Angel alone in the Hyperion. She felt bad for him, though she also knew going to him, now or in the future, would only hurt him more, since she didn't intend to stay with him.  
"And...the other one?" Randy looked at her curiously.  
She sighed heavily before she spoke. "Spike was different. When we met, he didn't have his soul. In fact, he was evil. But...well, things changed. He changed. He fell in love. With me. And to be totally honest, I developed my own feelings for him, though back then, I denied them." She covered her face with her hands for a moment. She didn't know why, but now that she had started talking, she couldn't stop.  
"Spike stuck by me even when I was horrible to him. I treated him horribly, and he still loved me. He went and got his soul because of something...terrible that happened between us. He got it to be a better man, for me. And I still couldn't allow myself to show him how much I loved him. Until it was too late." She closed her eyes as she finished talking, but it didn't stop a few tears from leaking out.  
He sighed, and reached out to touch her cheek. "I'm sorry, pet. Please don't cry. I shouldn't have asked." She shook her head.  
"It's not your fault. I can't believe I told you all of that. I haven't told anyone. Not even Willow or Dawn, though I think they suspect my feelings for him were deeper than I've let on."  
"Why do you keep talking about this...Spike in the past tense?" He studied her face.  
"About a year ago, I was living in a town called Sunnydale. There was this...uh, force of evil, called the First. It wanted to take over the world and we fought it. Spike chose to be a hero and died saving the rest of us and the world. I found out yesterday that he had come back, somehow. I'm not sure how exactly. But he was involved in the big battle that went down here and..." She broke off, finding it too hard to say.  
He nodded in complete understanding. "So this Spike is dead?" Buffy shrugged.  
"We think so. No one has seen him since, but then, there wouldn't exactly be a body." He looked at her confused. "Vampires, when they die, they turn to dust." He nodded.  
Randy looked exhausted. Buffy sighed and stood up. "Anyway, I think I've talked long enough. You need sleep. I'm going to go check on Will and get you some more supplies. Go to sleep, all right?" He nodded, and laid back down. She smiled at him as she turned to walk to the door.  
"Slayer? Er, Buffy?" She turned to look back at him. "Thanks for...well, for everything." She smiled.  
"You're welcome. I will be back before you wake up." She walked out the door.


	6. Chapter 6

Dawn landed a few hours later. The sun had just set a little while before. She went to the hotel Buffy was staying at. But instead of finding Buffy, she found Willow and a very badly burnt man, frantically leaving.  
"Dawny? What are you doing here?" Willow hugged Dawn. "We thought you were in London still."  
"I came to talk to Buff actually." She looked around, and then focused on the man beside Willow who was barely able to hold himself. "Who's this?"  
"Buffy's been calling him Randy. But I think he was once called William Pratt." Dawn's eyes grew a bit bigger, but she nodded, turning to 'Randy'.  
"You're the one that answered Buffy's phone when I called, aren't you?" He held up his hands in defense.  
"It was an accident. I was only trying to wake her up." Dawn nodded.  
"So where is Buffy?" Dawn looked between 'Randy' and Willow.  
"A few hours ago, she went to get supplies and we haven't been able to get a hold of her. We were going to go to the Hyperion to ask Angel if he had seen her." Willow explained as the cab pulled up.  
"So she what? Just disappeared?" Dawn shook her head. "I doubt that." They all climbed into the cab.  
"Whose William?" 'Randy' asked Willow.  
"William was a good friend of mine and Buffy's. He took care of me when she couldn't because she was...gone." 'Randy' nodded as Dawn explained. He sighed and leaned back in the seat. Clearly, he was in a lot of pain.  
"So what happened to you exactly?" Dawn studied him.  
"I don't remember. I don't even know who I am, or anything before I woke up a few days ago and felt like I was on fire."  
Dawn nodded. They pulled up to the Hyperion and Willow paid the driver. Angel met them at the door.  
"What's happened?" Angel asked worriedly.  
"Buffy hasn't been heard from in a few hours, and I can't get a hold of her. I thought maybe she was here with you, or you knew where she was?" Angel had started shaking his head before Willow finished speaking.  
"I haven't seen her since yesterday. I doubt she'd come here...not after what I told her." Angel looked at the burned man. "Who's the walking corpse, Will?"  
Willow sighed. "For lack of a better name, we've been calling him Randy." Dawn burst into nearly hysterical giggles. Angel and 'Randy' looked at her like she was nuts.  
"Oh, sorry. I just...I just got it." She had to take slow breaths. "Sorry."  
"Okay, Umad. Calm down." Willow said, barely holding back a laugh of her own. She sighed, suddenly remembering why they were talking to Angel. "We need to find Buffy. And fast. There are forces tracking her movements. And they aren't pleasant forces."  
"Are they ever pleasant when they're after her?" Angel sighed. "Let me grab my coat. Maybe Dawn and the Walking Corpse should stay here."  
"Hey! Look here, Forehead. I am not sitting behind while you go save someone who has been very decent to me."  
"Forehead? Did you just call me Forehead?" Angel looked shocked, and studied him curiously.  
"And what if I did? What are you going to do about it?" 'Randy' glared at Angel. But Willow stepped in.  
"Knock it off. Both of you." She glared at each of them.  
In unison, they mutters: "He started it." Angel turned to Willow.  
"Okay, explain." He looked at 'Randy'. "I know very well who the Walking Corpse is. But he doesn't appear to know anything."  
Willow nodded. "Buffy found him like this, covered in burns and no memory of who he is or how he got injured."  
"It was a dragon. In the battle. I thought it had finished him for sure." Angel looked at 'Randy' shocked.  
With a sigh, Willow nodded. "That makes sense. The Coven said it was something big." She turned to 'Randy'. "Maybe he's right. You can't fight, and you two could hold down the fort, so to speak, in case she comes back here."  
Dawn jumped in, then. She argued against being left behind. Angel and Willow were so involved in the argument that they didn't see 'Randy' collapse.

:~:~:~:

Spike woke up on the cold, hard floor of the Hyperion. The coolness helped his burns, but his head was currently beating out a samba. "Ow. Bloody hell." Dawn rushed to his side.  
"Randy, are you all right?" She knelt down beside him.  
"Can we please stop calling me that? It was bad enough when Red's spell went awry, and I thought I was the Watcher's son." He opened his eyes, and looked at Dawn.  
"Spike?" She spoke in a whisper.  
"Hey there, Bit. Missed you." He smiled up at her, as he started easing himself up into a sitting position. "Ow. Remind me not to fight any more nasty dragons." He looked up at Willow and Angel. "So have you two worked out a plan to rescue Buffy yet? It had better include me. I'm bloody well not sitting around waiting for you two to find her."  
Willow blinked at him. "Nice to have you back, Spike." She smirked at him. "I still don't think you're in any shape to fight, but I also know you well enough to know we can't leave you behind." She sighed. "Okay, let's go find Buffy."


	7. Chapter 7

Buffy woke up in a small, dark room. Her arms were tied above her, and her head ached. The last thing she remembered was leaving the hotel and walking in the direction of Spike's apartment. The next thing she knew, a figure rushed out and grabbed her. She hit her head against the pavement and blacked out.  
Now, she was trying to figure out where she was, and who had taken her. She felt odd, and wondered if she had been drugged. Her eyes felt heavy and she was having issues focusing. Her brain felt like it was full of cotton. She ended up falling asleep hoping that she'd be able to figure it out when she woke up again.

:~:~:~:

Spike and the others headed to his apartment, since that's where Buffy had intended to go. But it was clear that she hadn't been there. Spike changed clothes, and Willow called Giles to let him know what was going on. When she had finished, she set about tracking down the necessary ingredients for a locator spell.  
"We have to find her, Will." Angel was saying as Spike came out of his bedroom.  
"I cannot believe I'm about to say this, but for once, the ponce is right. We need to find her, Red."  
"Gee, thanks, guys. No pressure or anything." Willow sighed as she started doing the locator spell.  
Spike sat down on the couch, feeling exhausted, and sore all over from the battle. He closed his eyes and was suddenly there again.  
They were standing in the alley, rain coming down. Spike was sure this was it, this was the end. He found he wasn't afraid of death. Not in the least, though he somehow doubted he'd be brought back again. No, instead, he regretted never contacting Buffy.  
He closed his eyes, just for a moment, picturing her face. It gave him the strength to fight the dragon, which ignored Angel and came straight for him. He found himself completely cut off from the others, and backed into a corner. The next thing he knew was pain. It was almost as bad as the pain the amulet had caused him as it burned him from the inside out.  
He became aware of Dawn shaking him and his eyes flew open. She looked at him, studying his face.  
"You were moaning in your sleep. Plus, Willow's finished the spell." He blinked and sat up, looking over at the red-headed witch.  
"Well? Did you find her?" Before Willow had even spoken, he knew her answer.  
"I can't find her. It's like she's…" He glared at her.  
"Don't you dare say dead." Willow shook her head adamantly.  
"No, it's like she's not on this plane anymore. It's like she's somewhere else. I can sense her essence, but I can't find it." Willow shook her head in confusion.  
"So? She's been kidnapped? And taken somewhere...else?" Angel looked at Willow confused.  
"I have a feeling it's connected to the people that have been after the Slayers." Spike looked up at her.  
"What do you mean? Who's after them?" Spike stood up, and moved to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and took out some blood while Willow spoke.  
"A few months back, we were attacked. Some of the newer, more inexperienced girls were taken. We didn't find out who did it, and we didn't find them. We did receive letters from a mysterious source. They basically said that the Slayers were a threat and that we would all pay for what had been done. The letters said we 'broke the natural order of things', and that we would pay for it." She sighed.  
"So you all have no clue who is behind this?" Spike asked as he put blood into a mug in the microwave. Willow shook her head. "Okay, so we have no idea who is behind it, or where to find them. And worse, they have Buffy." He leaned up against the fridge, sighing.  
"We'll find her, Spike." Dawn stood up and walked over to him. "I promise. And when we do, the two of you are going to sit down and talk. Because things are different than before." Dawn touched his shoulder. In the last year, she had grown a good deal, and was now almost as tall as him.  
He turned and looked at her, sadness clear in his eyes. But he smiled at her. "Bit, when did you get so...adult? I'm sure your sister loves the fact that you're so tall." Dawn nodded widely.  
"Oh yeah. She's so thrilled about it." They smiled at each other. Spike let her help him back over to the others.  
"There's an idea!" Willow shouted as they walked over. She grinned up at Spike. "I think I know how to do it. I just have to figure out how to sort of...uh...lock on to her aura and track her that way. I can at least narrow down the dimensions."  
"Whoa. You can do that? Last time I talked to you, Red, you were afraid to do even minor spells. This sounds like a pretty major one." Spike eased himself back down onto the couch. He sipped the blood, but it burnt his throat. He set the mug down.  
"Well, you know. After the whole turning Potentials to Slayers thing, Giles decided all I needed was more training. Which I've been doing the last year. So yeah, I can do it. I think. If it's do-able that is." She shrugged.  
"Okay then. The sooner the better." Spike sighed. Dawn moved closer to him.  
"Spike, until we find her, maybe you should rest? You still look terrible." When he looked at her, she added, "No offense." Spike nodded, and with her help, headed to his bedroom, collapsing onto the bed. He was asleep pretty much right away, and his dreams, as they had been since coming back, with filled with her.


	8. Chapter 8

Buffy woke up from a nightmare about Spike. She jerked awake and found a face staring at her. Buffy stared in shock at Spike.  
"How...uh...what are you doing here, Spike?" He smirked and moved to sit beside her.  
"Hi, pet. I was beginning to wonder when you'd wake up, Love." He smiled at her.  
"Oh...kay. You still haven't answered my question. Why...and how are you here?"  
He shrugged. "Actually, I'm not entirely sure of that myself. See, last thing I remember was..."He shook his head. "Uh, burning up, I guess."  
Buffy nodded. She could still feel the effects of whatever drugs were in her system. She closed her eyes, and felt a strange floating sensation. When she opened them again, Spike was gone, though she hadn't heard him leave.

:~:~:~:

Dawn stayed with Spike, watching him sleep. He was restless, constantly tossing and turning in his sleep. Dawn sighed, wishing Buffy was there to help him.  
When Willow came in to do a healing spell on Spike, Dawn went out to call Xander. She had called him before, as soon as she had landed, but she wanted to give him an update.  
Afterwards, she walked back in to Spike's room. Spike was awake, sitting up in bed. Amazingly, he looked almost like himself again. Dawn found it surprising that they hadn't seen it sooner.  
"You look good, Spike." She smiled at him. Slowly, Spike smiled back.  
"I'll take your word for it, Bit." He laughed, but it dissolved into coughs, revealing that he wasn't in fact, entirely healed yet. Willow brought him a mug of blood and he drank it.  
As he did, it became all too clear just how hungry he was. Dawn fixed him a second mug, but it wasn't until he had gulped down three additional mugs that he sank back against the pillows, satiated.

Dawn smiled at him. "Better?" Spike nodded. "Good, because you are out of blood." She sighed.  
"Thanks, Bit. I'll go get some more later, after we get Buffy back." He looked pointedly at Willow.  
"I'm working on it, Spike." Willow said with a sigh. "I'm doing everything I can to find her. But the Coven is going to have to help. And that means, I have to wait for them to call me back." He held up his hands.  
"Sorry, Red. Just want to find her, that's all." Willow sighed.  
"I know, Spike." She sighed heavily. "We will find her. Promise." Willow stood up and started back to the living room.


	9. Chapter 9

((Sorry for the delay on updating! I hope you'll forgive me and keep reading 3 ))

Buffy woke up and saw Spike again. He seemed nervous about something, roaming around the room. But she couldn't figure out what was going on. She tried to call out to him, but found that she could not speak.  
Spike moved towards her. She looked up at him, blinking. "Pet? Is something wrong?"  
Buffy shook her head. She pointed to her throat trying to indicate that she couldn't speak. He started to reach out to her but his hand stopped just short of touching her, as though an invisible barrier kept him from touching her.  
She studied his face and saw something a little off. Realizing something was up, she followed that train of thought until she came to a conclusion. Suddenly, she found she could speak again. "You...you're not really here are you?"  
He shook his head. "'Fraid not, love. I think this is all in your head."  
She sighed heavily. "That's what I figured. Sure, like the dreams weren't enough. Now I have to see you as I'm going crazy...or am drugged or whatever." She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall. The door to the room she was being held in opened, and footsteps approached.  
Buffy tried to open her eyes, but they would not cooperate. Someone nearby spoke in a strange language Buffy could not place. A hand grabbed one of her bound wrists, and Buffy felt something prick her skin. The rush of warm, heavy sensation she got immediately afterwards told her they had drugged her again.  
It was hours, or at least she thought it was hours, later when Buffy woke up again. Her eyes opened, and she found herself face to face with Spike.  
"Ugh. I thought I had stopped imagining you were here." She shook her head. When he spoke, there was a difference in his voice, but Buffy wasn't sure just what it meant.  
"Buffy. Are you all right? Did they hurt you, love?" Buffy blinked at him.  
"Hurt me? They drugged me, tied me up, somehow made me see the one person who could break my heart, and brought me...who knows where. Hurt me is an understatement." When Spike reached out to touch her, she expected his hand to falter and stop again. But it didn't. His hand cupped her face. She opened her eyes wide, shocked. "You...you're not in my imagination?"  
Spike smirked at her, eyebrow raised. "No, love. I'm really here. And by the way, calling me Randy? Not funny." He reached up and untied her.  
"Wait. What? Be kind, rewind please." She rubbed her sore hands, and noticed for the first time the still healing burns on his face and arms. "Oh! Oh! I see. That's why you felt so familiar..."  
Spike nodded and scooped her into his arms, lifting her up. "Red realized it right away. She recognized my soul, which is why she was acting so weird. But she didn't want to tell you in case she was wrong." He started to carry Buffy from the room. Buffy rested her head against his shoulder, still feeling the effects of the drugs in her system.  
"Where are we exactly?" She closed her eyes, fighting a wave of vertigo brought on by the movement.  
"In a hell dimension of sorts. It seems they were trying to reverse the spell you had Willow cast to turn the Potentials into full Slayers, but without your scythe, they can't. So the plan was to use you for some sort of ransom. But Red managed to track you down first. We have to hurry, love. I don't know how long she can keep the portal open." Buffy nodded sleepily. Spike smiled slightly, happy just to hold her in his arms.


	10. Chapter 10

When Buffy woke up, she was in a strange apartment. Looking around, somehow she could sense it was Spike's even though there was nothing to tell her so. She could hear low voices coming from the other side of the bedroom door, but the bed she was lying in was too comfortable to leave, after being tied up for so long.  
Just then, Dawn, who was sitting in a chair near the bed, let out a loud snore. Buffy smiled and shook her head. She grabbed one of the pillows and threw it at her little sister. Dawn jerked awake instantly.  
"Hey! So not cool!" She tossed the pillow back at Buffy and jumped onto the bed. "Though I'm so glad to see you awake."  
"Was I asleep long?" Dawn nodded.  
"Spike was getting pretty worried. We just barely got him to leave your side to go get some blood. It's been two days since he rescued you from that place. You've been asleep the entire time."  
"Guess that explains why I'm starving." Buffy sat up. "I feel like I could eat a horse." Buffy slowly stood up, muscles aching and feeling weak from non-use. Slowly, and with Dawn's help, they made their way to the kitchen. Willow and Angel sat at a table, speaking in hushed tones.  
"Hi guys." Buffy made her way to the fridge. "Got anything good to eat?"  
"She's alive!" Willow smirked at Buffy. "Welcome back, Sleeping Beauty. I can make you something if you would like." Buffy nodded.  
"Thanks, Will. That sounds great." Buffy sat down at the kitchen island. "Dawn says I've been asleep for two days. So catch me up please." She looked at Angel. "How's the clean-up going?"  
He sighed. "It's going. I'm actually leaving tonight. I want to get as far away as I can so that Wolfram and Hart have a harder time finding me. Illyria is on her way back, though. And I hate to ask, but she needs your protection."  
"Isn't Illyria an ancient one? Aren't they supposed to be all powerful and god-like?" Buffy looked at Angel confused. Angel nodded.  
"She was. But to keep her from...imploding, we took some of it away from her. She still has a great deal, as Spike can attest to. But she's nowhere near her full strength."  
This time, Buffy nodded. "We'll help keep her safe. Once I'm sure it's safe enough here, we'll return to London." What she didn't add out loud was that it would depend on Spike whether or not she went to London or stayed in L.A.  
Willow placed a sandwich down in front of Buffy, and Buffy devoured it. Shortly after she had, Angel left, excusing himself to go catch a cab back to the Hyperion before he started his journey out of L.A. Buffy stood to hug Angel, and thank him for helping rescue him. Angel pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.  
"I'm still waiting for that cookie, you know." Buffy sighed heavily pulling away. She didn't see Spike until he slammed the door, misinterpreting the scene. Angel smirked.  
"You knew he was there, didn't you?" Buffy glared up at Angel, furious. "For the record, Angel, we are so over. I can't even look at you at the moment." She turned and rushed towards the door, but Spike was already gone.


	11. Chapter 11

Spike had seen what looked like the great Poof kissing Buffy. He shook his head trying in vain to clear the image. He felt like such a huge fool, thinking that things would be different this time around. That the Slayer could actually care for him. Him! William the Bloody. He muttered under his breath.  
"Stupid bint. Don't know why you're so worked up over her." He headed for a local bar, hoping it had been unaffected by the battle. He felt relieved, finding it standing. Inside, he sat on a bar stool, and ordered a bourbon.  
When a slender dark haired girl came over and started flirting with him, he pushed her away. Not even another woman's company could ease the ache in his chest where his heart should have been. He had been sitting there moping for a while when the door was thrown open and a figure with blue tinted hair and skin stood in the doorway. For the first time ever, Spike was genuinely happy to see Illyria.

:~:~:~:

Buffy had gone after Spike, but having no luck, she decided to return to the apartment, hoping he'd come back eventually. Angel was gone, a fact that actually pleased her. She wouldn't have thought it was possible to be so mad at him.  
Buffy fell asleep on the couch, and woke up the next morning, depressed to find that Spike wasn't back. Her phone rang, and seeing Giles' number, she answered. Giles begged her to come back to London as soon as possible so that they could discuss in person the events of her kidnapping. Buffy reluctantly agreed to fly back the following day, hoping she could find Spike, or that he would come back and they could talk first.  
When she hung up, Buffy found herself oddly fighting tears. A year ago, she would have fought harder to keep control of her emotions. Now, though, knowing that Spike was back, she knew she wouldn't be able to and shouldn't hide her feelings anymore. Not when it came to him, anyway.  
So, she got up and decided to do something productive. Spike had to be somewhere out of the sun, somewhere safe. She decided to set about finding him.  
Her first stop was a local bar. Though it was closed for the day, she was able to find a waitress who remembered seeing him. She also remembered, in great detail, the blue girl he had left the bar with, heading in the direction of the rubble of Wolfram and Hart.  
Buffy headed in that direction, hoping to find some clue of him somewhere. She knew it was pretty hopeless, but she wouldn't give up. Not until she could find him and explain that what he had seen had been nothing. That it hadn't been Angel she had been crying about a few days earlier at the ruins of Sunnydale. She just had to find him first.  
There were no signs of him at the ruins, but she found someone nearby who remembered seeing Illyria. She went off in the direction that the witness had seen her heading in. Buffy followed an alleyway to a building that had a sign hanging crookedly above a stairway. The sign read: 'Caritas'. Buffy stepped over a pile of rubble and started down the stairs.  
Sitting at the ruins of the bar was a girl who so clearly fit Fred's description, Buffy had no doubt of her identity.  
"Illyria?" The girl turned to look at her, cocking her head to one side.  
"Who are you?" Buffy could tell that, though she may look like the human Fred, this was not Fred and not a human.  
"I'm Buffy Summers. I'm looking for..." before she could finish, a door swung open, revealing a bedroom on the other side of what appeared to be paneling a moment before.  
"What are you doing here, Slayer?" Spike did his best to glare at her. But even he knew it wasn't very convincing. 


	12. Chapter 12

Spike and Illyria had gone to look around the ruins, but when dawn was drawing near, they decided to check out Caritas. Using the memories she could access of Fred's, Illyria was able to lead Spike to what was left of it. When the sun rose, Spike crashed in Lorne's bedroom.  
When Buffy got there, he heard her voice and was instantly awake. He heard her voice, and had to know why she had come. Just hearing her tore at him, making him want to scream out.

Spike opened the door and he saw her standing there. If his heart had been beating, it would have sped up at the sight of her.  
"What are you doing here, Slayer?" He knew his glare was useless. Internally, he cursed himself for being so weak. Spike couldn't resist the smile that formed in response to hers. Neither spoke; instead, they both just looked at each other.  
Illyria was the one to break the silence. "I think I shall go check on things. I will be back soon." She stood up and picked her way through the rubble towards the door.  
Buffy started towards Spike, but something in his face stopped her. "I wanted to explain. What you saw...it didn't mean anything, Spike."  
"Sure, sure. I've heard it all before, love. Aren't you tired of it?" Spike started to what had been the bar, rooting around in the rubble till he found a bottle of Jack Daniel's. Opening it, he poured a large amount into a glass he found that was mostly unbroken.  
"Tired of what?" Buffy moved to one of the few standing stools.  
"Of all of it. Of pretending to be...whatever with me, and falling for him whenever he comes back around."

She shook her head. "What makes you think I wanted any part of that, Spike? I wanted you! I want you. I came to find you, Spike. I was hoping you'd come back with me. But clearly, that's not happening. I should go." She stood up and started towards the door. Spike let her get to the stairs before he spoke.  
"Damn it, Slayer. I love you. I've loved you since the beginning. It's just...when I saw you with him, I figured he was the one you wanted, and all that happened didn't matter." He came around the bar and started towards her. She kept her back to him.  
"Spike, I...things are so different now." She turned towards him finally, unshed tears in her eyes. He cupped her face in his hands bending down slightly to kiss her. In that moment, nothing else existed but the two of them.


	13. Chapter 13

When they broke the kiss, Buffy looked up at him. "I hate to ask, but what now? Giles wants me to fly to London tomorrow. I don't want to leave you though. Not after I just found you."  
"Actually, pet, in all fairness I sort of found you." She looked at him confusedly. "Remember a few days ago when you were at the Sunnydale ruins?" Buffy nodded. "I was drawn there by something I didn't understand. I saw you there and followed you to L.A." Her eyes grew wider.  
"That's why you were at the hotel?" Spike nodded, grinning.  
"See? I found you. Though, in fairness, I'm not sure how. Buffy, pet, if you want me to go with you, I will. Bloody hell, love, I'd follow you just about anywhere." She grinned up at him, warmth filling her.  
Spike chuckled lightly, wrapping his own arms around her. He lifted her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom. "So we have some time to kill then?" He grinned at her and she grinned back. He lowered his lips to hers as he made it to the room.  
They would worry about London and the threat the people that had kidnapped her posed later. For now, they had each other. And that was all that mattered.

THE END (FOR NOW ;) )


End file.
